Saturday, 17 December 2011

The NFL's first All-Christmas team

It's that time of year when the only present any NFL fan wants is for their team to have wrapped-up a playoff spot.

It's also the time of year when the white stuff falls out the sky (no I don't have dandruff before you ask) and NFL fields look like the inside of a snowglobe.

Nothing beats watching the likes of Wes Welker (see pic) dancing through the snow on a one horse open sleigh (well minus the sleigh maybe).

It got me thinking - what if Santa Claus wanted to start up his own NFL franchise? Well look no further my white-bearded barrel chested buddy, here comes your very own team......

Bob Holly 'and the Ivy' QB - 1 career NFL touchdown for Falcons in 1985
Jimmy 'Santa' Clausen QB - Huge flop in 2010 now Panthers benchwarmer
Father 'Christmas' Lumpkin B - 1932 All Star for the Portsmouth Spartans
Emerson Boozer RB - Jets legend, won Super Bowl III with Joe Namath
Bob Christ'mas'ian RB - Bruising fullback had 19 NFL tds
Santa'Claus'na Moss WR - Redskins former Pro Bowl wide-out
Gerry 'Glass of' Sherry FB - One game for Louisville Colonels in 1926
Dwayne 'Wrap my present with a' Bowe WR - About the best talent on the Chiefs roster
'Mince' Pierre Garcon WR - Stud WR who is taking over at the Colts
Kyle Rudolph 'the red nosed reindeer' TE - Vikings rookie ready to step up in 2012
Reed Elfin Nilsen C - Lions lineman in 1947
Kent 'Arch' Angelo Hill G - Rams legend in early to mid 80s
Mule Stock'ing'ton G - Eagles G in the late 30s
Wayne 'Midnight' Mass T - Four team journeyman in late 60s
Matt 'Christmas' Light's' T - Super Bowl winner with Patriots in 2004
Jeremy Mince'Pie'y DE - Jaguars top pass rusher
Santa'Claus'na Dotson DT-DE - Super Bowl winner with Packers in 1997
Al 'Egg'Noga DT - Former Vikings 3rd round pick
Don Churchwell DT - 5th round pick by Colts in 1959
Percy Snow LB - Was #13 pick overall by chiefs in 1990 draft
Ian Gold 'Frankincence and Mhyr' LB - Former Bronco Pro Bowler
Seth Joy'to the world'ner LB - 3 time Pro Bowlwr with 52 career sacks
Eric 'Cran'Berry S - Out this season but due a huge 2012
Matt Turk'ey' P - 6 teams and 3 Pro Bowls plus 1 time All-Pro
Justin Snow LS - 11 year veteran with the Colts

Ok there may not be many defensive backs but there are plenty of All-Pro's Super Bowl winners and Pro Bowl participants.

If the Redskins had drafted Jimmy Clausen last year we could have been talking about the Santa(na Moss) Claus(en) connection through the air.

Perhaps the best name of all in the squad is Emerson Boozer - let's be honest if you are an adult and you celebrate Christmas you will be drinking like a floundering fish in the Sahara Desert. Boozer can raise a glass with Gerry Sherry - and no I did not make up that name I swear.

Delivering the presents will be Kyle Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, providing he can make his way past the Percy Snow.

I hope all of you that take any time to read the Primetime Sports blog have a very Merry Christmas and if you don't take part at least you know there is NFL football throughout the festive season.

Let's just hope we don't have to watch Jaguars quarterback Blaine Gabbert again though - he truly is a Christmas Matt Turk-ey.

Lawrence Vos
Primetime Sports NFL blogger

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